


Forever

by SailingOnANotebook



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I swear this was just meant to be drabble, M/M, Reunion, different ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 10:53:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17099237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailingOnANotebook/pseuds/SailingOnANotebook
Summary: AU where Eiji never wrote a letter for Ash. Ash stays in New York and Eiji go to Japan. Ash cuts all contact from Eiji, believing he’s better off without him. Eiji doesn’t and months later comes back to New York to find him.





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just dissatisfied and upset with the ending.

Every day he went back to Central Library staying hours upon hours until sunset and he had to leave. He didn’t understand why Ash wasn’t here? He used to come here all the time, spending hours upon hours reading books about anything and everything. The only time he didn’t come to the library was when something happened, so did something happen?

Eiji shook his head, his heart racing at the thought of it. The whole banana fish debacle was over and done with. Dino was dead and so were all the others who had caused them all hell previously. Anything that may have happened now wouldn’t be on such a grand scale surely, Ash wouldn’t have any more enemies, would he?

He knew Ash cut off contact from him, but he was surprised that the others had too. Alex, Bones, Kong, Sing, Max… all of them - the numbers Eiji had were now unrecognisable and Eiji wondered if it was Ash’s doing. He knew that he was trying to protect him, but from what? What was so dangerous now? Should he have given him that letter that was tucked deep in his pocket on the last day he was here? Would that have changed things?

But still, relentlessly, Eiji was going to the library and had no sign of the blond-haired boy. And he was starting to run out of time. He had already outstayed his welcome in the states the first time he had come and now he knew he shouldn’t push his luck. He only had two days left.

The only other thing that Eiji could think of was if Ash knew he was around and at the library and was avoiding coming here because of that. He wouldn’t put it past him. And with that thought in mind, he tried other places like Chinatown, but he saw no familiar faces or other hangouts he had visited before.

Was this really going to be it? Was he really not going to see Ash again?

Getting sick of being in the library, Eiji decided to get up and get some fresh air and maybe a hotdog with mustard that he wasn’t fond of. Just the usual things that he did with Ash, hoping their paths crossed even though they hadn’t already.

After receiving the hotdog and sitting on the steps, as he had already done so many times before, he scanned the crowds before him. They were bustling as usual; there was never a second break in a city like this. There were thousands and thousands that travelled through this street on any given day. Yet none of them appeared to be the blond-haired boy he was looking for.

Well, at least that’s what he thought until a tall, broad blond haired man walk past in casual streetwear. Eiji was on his feet before he knew it, he lengthened his strides as he approached the figure. His heart was racing, and his palms were sweating – he must have dropped that hot dog at some point.

“Ash!” He called out and grabbed the boy’s arm. He turned around and Eiji felt his heart drop when he saw that he was mistaken. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”  
The boy looked at him hesitantly, concerned that Eiji’s eyes were starting to glaze over but he just mumbled an apology and left.

Eiji looked down and his throat felt thick. He blinked away his tears and told himself not to give up. Ash was more than just someone he had met, he was someone he needed in his life. Someone he had to meet again.

He wiped his eyes and turned on his heel, hoping no one noticed how dejected he suddenly was.

 

~

 

Eiji left the library again when it closed. They librarians gave him annoyed looks because he had stayed to the last second again. He had conversed when them a bit, asking them if they had seen Ash, for the most part they hushed him but a few of the nicer ones said that they hadn’t seen him in a while.

  
The sun was setting in New York, but the city was still as awake as ever. He walked past the packed restaurants and ignored the relentless street vendors or performers on his path to – well, where was he going now? He didn’t want to go back to the hotel and be as lonely as he felt during the day. He could always try places like Chinatown again but Eiji didn’t want to face the ire of some unfamiliar gangs when he was on their turf.

So, he felt his legs guiding him towards the port, another place had been with Ash. A place with salty air and where you would see a fraction of the beauty the city held, even more so as the cool sun made its exit.

Surprisingly very few were there, only a man with his young child, a couple holding hands and a man leaning on the ledge and looking at the city before him.  
Eiji felt his heart stop.

He marched towards the figure, his voice escaping him before he registered it.

“Ash?”

The man paused, wondering for a second if he heard something. He had been hearing that same voice for months as if it was haunting him but right now it felt so real.  
He tore his eyes away from the shining sea and his heart stopped.

“Eiji –?” Ash gasped, surprised to see the dark-haired boy that he had once known so much. Though by now, his hair had grown a few centimetres, his cheeks sunk in a little and there were bags underneath his eyes.

Eiji had his fist in the air, in level with Ash’s jaw and it was shaking. God, he was so mad at him, but he was here in front of him. He had found him.  
“Ash…” Eiji trailed and dropped his hand. Ash is here. Right in front of him. Right now. He could see him with his own two eyes and not just his imagination anymore and that was enough for his eyes start to fill up. “Ash…”

“Eiji… what are you –”

Eiji leant forward and rested his head on Ash’s shoulder, feeling relief flow through him. He is here, and he could feel him. The same Ash that he went through hell and back with. His best friend. His soulmate. He was here.

“I missed you so much,” Eiji said, his voice cracking in the end as he tried to stop sobs from consuming him.

Ash’s heart was beating fast, he had not expected Eiji to suddenly come back into view. He had months to relish in his memory, to let himself feel for him. He thought about him frequently – more frequently than he wanted to, but now, having him here, seeing him, all those months of hard work and building his guard up was beginning to collapse.  
“Eiji, what are you doing here?” Ash asked. His hands where in his pockets clenched, wanting nothing more than to pull the shorter boy closer to him and stop him from shaking.

Suddenly Eiji pulled his head back, tears were cascading down his cheeks and his face was scrunched up. “What am I doing here? What am I doing?” Eiji said, his voice rising in volume and octaves.

Ash didn’t say anything, still wide eyed that he was actually here. The waves crashing on the port and the calls from the seagulls filled the air between them and Ash became to wonder if the boy wanted an answer because he had paused. And when it was apparent to Eiji that Ash wasn’t going to speak he said something.

“Baka!” He exclaimed. His rage reverting him to the use of his mother tongue. “I’m here to see you. I’m here for you.”

“Eiji, you know, we can’t – this isn’t, I’m not –” Ash paused, trying to gather his words. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. The only way he could really do this was when he was looking away from the younger boy and so he concentrated on the distant buildings. “You deserve so much better Eiji. A life without the violence, the killing, the guns. I’ve selfishly kept you here for so long and because of me, you got hurt. Eiji you need to go home.”

“Ash,” Eiji started, his throat was constricting, and he could barely feel like he could squeeze words out. “You do too.” He gulped and forced his voice to come out smoothly. “You deserve so much more than this. We both know you’ve gone through hell and back and had so much shit – but Ash, please. Ash, you deserve to be safe and away from all of this as much as I do.”

Ash shook his head. He was a murderer, he had caused people around him to get hurt and even die because of it. He didn’t deserve anything more than what he had now. He just had to be under the radar, not causing anyone – especially Eiji – any more trouble.

“Eiji you need to go home. What if something happens to you again? How am I –”

“Ash if something happens to me that’s not your fault. You’ve never pulled a trigger towards me and you never will. Those other people did it because –”  
“And those other people have done it because of me. Because they know Eiji,” Ash said, his voice breaking. “They know that’s how to get to me.”

“But they’ve gone now –”

“Others will come. Others always come. That’s how it is. You don’t know Eiji, that’s what being a gang leader is like. Nothing close to me is ever going to be safe.” The urgency was evident in Ash’s voice but so was the sadness. He couldn’t hide it, not right now when he’s so unprepared in front of Eiji.

“You don’t have to protect me Ash!”

“I do. I have to protect you because you’re you Eiji. Don’t you understand?”

“No, I don’t. Ash things can be different, things will be different.”

“How?”

“Come with me to Japan.”

Ash had had this invite before and he said yes, and he still wanted to go. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let Eiji persuade him.

“What am I going to do there?”

“You can stay with me –”

“What? Forever? I can’t just turn up and take you from your family and your friends.”

Eiji sighed, feeling defeated. Why was Ash being like this? Why was he being so difficult? Had things really changed in the last few months? Had he finally had enough of him? Had he really become a burden to him?

“Fine. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you never want to see him ever again I’ll go and I’ll never come back here. But you have to say it to me first or I’m not leaving.”

“Eiji …that’s not fair.” He knew he couldn’t say it. He knew Eiji knew he couldn’t say it so why was he asking something like this? Why couldn’t he see that he was just trying to protect him? Eiji could do so much with his life, why was he so determined to stay with him?

“I’m not going anywhere until you say that to me, Ash.”

Ash groaned and looked away but then back at those brown eyes. Eyes like the earth’s rich soil, always gleaming, always warm and welcoming and enough to crumble Ash’s resolve. He opened his mouth. He just had to say it and Eiji would be safe forever, right?

“Eiji, I –” God, he couldn’t do it. Not when he was looking at him so fiercely, so desperately as if he was pleading with him. And not only that - his own heart was bursting his chest. His hands were yearning and just wanted to reach out and stay with him. To be wrapped up in his warmth and his gentleness and his love, to feel safe and secure and just knowing that someone cared about him when he didn’t have to. God, he knew he wanted it so desperately that any defence he had had fallen and right now it was just his soul here with Eiji’s.

Why did it have to be so hard?

Ash turned his head towards the sea, his eyes feeling glassy and his throat constricting. “Eiji…” he whispered, not knowing whether the boy could hear him at all. “You know, I’m just not…”

“You are.”

Eiji’s voice was soft and Ash could almost feel himself being persuaded.

“Ash look at me,” Eiji murmured, wanting those emerald eyes on him again, even if they only held pain.

Ash still had his head faced away, knowing that if he looked at Eiji there really wasn’t any going back.

But Eiji didn’t say anything and he waited and watched the sun set behind him. He knew that Ash was fighting with himself. He knew what Ash really wanted and how far he was going to go to stop himself from having it.

Ash could feel every ounce of him being pulled by the smaller boy. His round face and soft expressions, his fluffy looking hair and his gentle voice, his smaller but protective hands, his warmth that no item of clothing would be able to give him.

His neck craned over, and he knew that he had lost.

He met Eiji’s eyes and he knew he had surrendered. He knew there were so many things he could say to himself, so he could walk away, but none of them was coming to mind. None of them mattered anymore.

“Ash, you are enough,” Eiji said, his voice with a sincerity and firmness that you wouldn't dare argue with. “You are enough. You have always been and always will be enough.” Eiji felt tears slipping out of his eyes. “I would be happy if you stayed the same for the rest of our lives. I love you, Ash. I love you Aslan Jade Callenreese. I love you so much.”  
And that’s when the tears fell, and they didn’t stop. Nothing else mattered anymore. Eiji loved him and he couldn’t understand why, he didn’t have to understand why. He just knew that he wanted this. And he loved him too. Oh, he loved him so much.

Their bodies gravitated towards each other, their arms wrapping around each other as their shoulders shook and sobs left them. They pulled each other closer, engraving each other and this moment onto themselves and telling themselves that it was going to be okay. That being together is going to be okay and will always be okay.  
“Eiji,” Ash whimpered, feeling relief flood through him and his heart burst. “I love you.”

“I know,” Eiji replied. “And I love you. Forever.”

And Ash repeated. “Forever.”  
  
  


 


End file.
